Year in Review October 21, 2009

This week marks one year of trying for a second baby. We have reached the textbook definition of infertility: the inability of a healthy couple to conceive within a year. I just read that 85% of pregnancies are unplanned. This percentage spurred my desire to run my own analysis.  Although I’m not a numbers person, I thought these figures put things in perspective.

Number of women I know who have miscarried: 20 (most I never knew about until my experience)

Number of women from above figure who have gone on to deliver healthy babies: 16

Number of women I know who have had babies born in the last year: 22

Number of women currently pregnant with whom I have contact: 11

Number of women I know who are also trying to conceive at this time: 5

Number of dollars spent on pregnancy and OPK tests: $150

Chance of miscarrying after seeing a heartbeat: 4-5%

Age our baby would be if we had conceived last October: 3 months

Number of weeks until my due date had I not miscarried: 6

Number of people supporting us and prayers said on our behalf: countless

Love October 17, 2009

Both of us shower fresh,

she sits on the counter,

while I dry her hair.

Her arms wrap around

my waist, her face pressed

against my bare chest.

She doesn’t seem to notice

my imperfect body.

I lean down expecting

to smell her shampoo,

but breathe in acceptance instead.

Chatter October 17, 2009

After Hannah gave me a kiss, apparently I licked my lips because she exclaimed, “Mommy, don’t lick the kiss off!”

I want Daddy to come home and then he will take his shoes off.

When Tally grows up, she will talk. When she grows up, she will have a hand. When she grows up, she will be tiny!

Tally should come inside. She is cold outside.

After I broke the news that Tally shouldn’t be on the bed: “No, Tally SHOULD come on the bed. I like her on the bed. She is cold on the floor.”

At the library book drop: “Mommy, why are you putting the books in the garbage can?”

And weeks later when I assured her that we could borrow one of her favorite books at the library again sometime: “No, it’s not at the library because you put it in the garbage can.”

I don’t want to sleep. I will pretend. Open your eyes, Mommy.

Why is the song in your mouth?

Can I pee in the bathtub? Is it ok to pee in the bathtub, Mommy?

Not Right September 28, 2009

Being in the trenches of potty training has its rewards. And its laughs. Take today for example. Hannah was pulling at the back of her undies and scrunching up her face.

“Something’s not right” she told me. When she turned around, I laughed out loud. Her panties were on backwards and they were fitting like thong underwear.

Even a toddler can see that’s not ok!

Don’t quote me on this one, but… September 26, 2009

Why do the cheese sticks live in the fridge?

I’m too busy right now. (Ouch- wonder where she heard this?)

No, those aren’t pants! Those are jeans!

Stop- I just need to talk to you for a second.

Mommy, when I go to heaven will I go up in the sky?

Yes, Hannah you will. Who talked to you about this?

Tally did. (our dog)

Oh, did Grandma talk to you about this?

No, Tally talked to me about it.

Fashion Forewarned September 26, 2009

While sweating away at the gym, I watch the Today show because that’s what’s on. This week, they featured leggings paired with longish (bum covering) tops as a fashion must-have for fall. They repeated this several times: “anyone can wear these.”

I took it to heart.

On my recent shopping trip, I was determined to return with some nice black leggings and a cute top I could wear to work. Who knew I could be so fashionable? I know you can see where this is going.

First, the leggings were not unlike putting on nylons, so much tighter than the middle school stirrup pants I remember sporting. Once on, I felt (and looked) like a sausage in its casing or how I imagine one would look seeing as I only eat Big Franks. Still, I was determined to give it a try. The shirt did not help in any way, except to accent my chubby legs now clad in tight black spandex. I was glad no one was with me in the dressing room to witness this amusing truth: NOT everyone can wear this look. Trust me on this.

On the very same episode they talked about the newest make-up trends for spring. SPRING as in the season that follows both fall and winter. Don’t we all want to run out and stock up on products we can use six months from now?

But let me say that I will be giving their version of the pizza pinwheel roll-up a try. And I don’t think I’ll go wrong on this one.

Minus September 25, 2009

There’s got to be a lot of people out there hoping for that

single line.

The one that lets them forgo nausea, sleepless nights,

lullabies.

Maybe that high school girl, one night stander or

mother of five.

Not me.

No amount of wishing, praying or the world’s best

imagination

has made that second line appear.

Injustice, indeed.

Like You Do September 20, 2009

Two brown eyes are watching

Everything I do.

They’ve seen my finest moments

and watched my dark ones, too.

She’s watched when I showed kindness,

to her daddy and to her.

She’s watched me get impatient,

and seen angry feelings stir.

Even just this morning,

she put eye shadow on her lips.

“I did it just like you do, Mama!”

And away she proudly skips.

God grant me grace each moment,

to live a life so true,

that by copying my actions

my girl will be like You.

Verbose September 18, 2009

The following story emerged after a balloon popped: My balloon popped! He’s going to walk to the office without any legs. He’s going to the office so the doctors can fix him. He opened the door without any arms.

Hannah thinks the Round-Up is like the fair. When I told her that we were getting tickets but that the “fair” was not open yet she replied, “I’m going to open the fair. I have to be very strong to open the fair.”

From a conversation about the PBR event we’ll be attending tomorrow: I’m going to feed the bulls bread. Those bulls are very friendly.

At Happy Canyon when the Indians carried in a dead deer hanging from a stick by its legs: “He’s upside down!”

After my mom warned her that our friends’ cats were wild: “Those cats are not wild. They are very friendly. They are just the right size for me to pet.”

When Hannah buried her face in my shoulder, I asked her if she was tired. She replied, “No, I’m praying to Jesus.”

Richard said, “Here, let’s put on your shirt.” Hannah replied, “No, actually it’s my jacket.”

Hannah’s classic response when I ask her why she did something (ie: why did you color on the chair?):  “Because I did!”

She Who Never Stops Speaking August 26, 2009

Disclaimer:

I know, I know- more Hannah quotes.

These are really for me, so I don’t forget the incredible things that Hannah tells me because all too soon she’ll be conversing like an adult. And you don’t see me quoting any adults here, do you?

Me: Are you a kid?

Hannah: No, I’m a girl.

Singing: Up above the world so high, like a dino in the sky.

No! We don’t do that anymore. (We don’t touch the stove.)

To the dog: Tally, spit my socks out!

As we approached the fair, “I don’t want to ride the bucking horse bulls.”

Look at the little piece of moon!

“I have to get ready for school. I’m a teacher. I’m a girl teacher. I’m not a teacher. I’m a helper.”

You can take me anywhere!

Crosswalk = sidewalk

Pewter = computer

Amimals = animals

Bub-a-buh-bly = bubbly (noted after sipping a carbonated beverage)